It’s a late night, and I’m writing in my digital journal again. There are much better things I could be doing right now, the least of which is sleeping, or reading up on my history, or perhaps catching up on my scriptures, practicing my solo and ensemble repertoire, preparing home teaching, contacting numerous people, or even simple things like grabbing my check book or listening to the Norton Scores. But this is one of those paradoxes in life that goes along the lines of digging a pit for yourself, and in the midst of knowing the hardships required to escape the abyss, it becomes less desirable to do anything even remotely related to progress. Then every week comes by and there’s that day that feels like the Judgment Day, when the continued lack of progress will be evaluated in some way. And then there comes a mood, or a state of being even, when nothing seems to matter, and you can forget about everything else and listen to music you’d normally avoid and eat a family-sized bag of Doritos.
Needless to say, I’m really behind in my reading, practice, or work in general. I’m certain that this is a continuing problem that is due to my inability to handle 16.5 credits my first semester; I didn’t think it would be much, I mean it’s somewhere in between 12 and 18 so it sounded like a nice average at the time. But after discussing it with several people, I feel like I am indeed in a sea of too much work that I could probably be avoiding. But it is kind of half way through the semester already; I’m obviously slow in comprehending this. But also at the time of registration I was just following the recommended list of classes for my major, which itself was 15.5 credits. And I added marching band to that, so I guess I just sold my soul right there. But I don’t regret that last part; it’s the best decision I could have made coming out here, and among all this non-musical madness I need some fun mixed in.
I promised to live the Honor Code, so I am going to dig myself out of this hole honorably. In high school, maybe you’d cheat to complete that homework that you didn’t read. Yeah, that’s not going to happen here. One of these days, I am going to catch up – real good. And this has not been one of those days, but honestly there’s no other way out except working your butt off and I’m going to succeed one way or another.